Fear (and Stress)

Unlike stress that usually built when we don't understand how to deal with something, fears mostly raised when we feel that there will be certain discomfort (that caused by challenges or changes) that we have to face.

With stress, we usually already know what the problem was. We just don't know how to deal or to find the solution yet. What causes stress, mostly are things that we can't control. A solid problem.

But with fear, we usually haven't even got any problem yet. Everything mostly are still vague and based on our assumptions of the past, or the small information that we gathered. Nothing solid. It causes us discomforts, and most of us dislike that, so we tend to avoid that feeling.

That's why the first reaction that we had when facing fear, was to avoid it. While with stress, what we did was pushing ourselves to find the solution to control it.

The difference between the reaction that we give between the two of them was only about; how solid the problem is.

I'm not saying that any of them is a better state than the other. What I wanna say is, do acknowledge that fear is a sign of the lack of solid problem. So, instead of avoiding it, we actually should explore it.

Why do I feel it? What is that fear about? What are the possibilities and what I can do about it? What options do I have towards those possibilities?

I used to have many fears, I actually still have some now. But instead of avoiding them, I sit and make a list of what and how will I deal with them all.

I used to fear of how if my income would not be enough to support my life? But then I learnt about alternative lifestyle, sustainable lifestyle, earthship, sustainable home, nomad living, hydroponic garden, minimalism, and many more, that I know, I have so many options before I would die of not being able to survive or to support myself.

That, without mentioning that I know a lot of ways to actually create income, and the fact that I have many skills in my belt that I should be able to use to support my life.

And after all of the knowledges and options that I got, it was time to let myself experience a bit of how to face those fears in real. That's when I decided to be a minimalist, and slowly shrinking and clearing my lifestyle into one that I see fit.

I learnt about hydroponic garden, learnt how to drill the walls and build up furnitures, moved from a three story house to a studio apartment in two years, with less and less items. I tried nomad living for four months in Bali. I keep testing myself to see my bottom line, but until now, I haven't even seen it yet lol. My life is still so much (even much more) enjoyable with less things that I have, than when I started this. And it eliminates almost all of my fears about surviving life in general.

Will I be able to live alone? Will I be able to live anywhere, anyhow, anyway? Will I know how to do business? And so many more of fears that I used to have, being eliminated one by one this way; just by listing them, made them solid, then face them one by one with the options I have.

I found that almost every (if not all) fear that I have, always have the solution to be applied. For me, it is much harder to deal with stress, since most of the stress comes from things that I can't control, no matter how good my solution is.

With fears, at least I know that they all are in my control and I have the power to overcome them.

A reminder to myself from last year, and still valid till now.

#life #honesty #thoughts #fears