“Are you happy now? Like in general?”
“No, I'm not happy, but I am content with my life now. I learnt that happiness only exist when there is sadness or less happier moments. Happiness couldn't exist without comparison, and I don't even bother to compare. I am good with the better days and the less better days, now. I know growth is what I aim for in life, and for that I am ready to not be happy or to not be comfortable.”
“So, there is nothing that you envy or wanting to have now?”
“Other than growth? Actually, if I have to be envy of something, I do envy those people who have the solid courage, undisrupted calmness, unparalleled experiences plus skillset, and the unshaken certainty, to sincerely able to say that, no matter what happen tomorrow and no matter what's left for them, they will always be able to live and to build everything again from the scratch. I envy those people who don't rely solely on money to continue life, who live without fear and worry of being lack of something. Those who could really be immersed into life and becomes the life itself. I want to have that strength and courage. I want a life bigger than the life itself. I want to be the life.”
“To be the life?”
“Yes. Life just happens. Sunny days – rainy days, daylight – night time, babies born – people dies, love being found or lost, empires and cultures built and destroyed, nature healed and tortured, life just happens. While we human were being busy defining it, surviving it, love or hating it, (dreaming of) perfecting and mastering it, life still just happen. And if we are truly living a life, shouldn't we live like the life itself? To just happen.”
“No one really knows what life truly is, what's the point of it, or what's actually there after life. No one came back from the death to confirm us, whether what we knew now about life and death, was right or wrong.
The concept of life and death that we know now, are basically the thoughts and ideas that the people before us were trying to convince themselves.
So, the question is, do you ever wonder of whose life that we are trying to impersonate? Or who are we trying to please and impress, or to get validated by?”